70 X 7– 490 humorous attempts at forgiveness

Dear Reader,

I don’t know you, but if you are anything like me, then it is highly likely you have a family. And based on my experience, I feel sorry for anybody who has one.

That’s why I took such an interest in Peter’s question to Jesus. He once asked the Lord, “How oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?” Upon reading this, I immediately empathized with Peter’s frustration. No doubt, that very morning, Peter just found out that his brother stole his Gameboy (or the biblical equivalent) and pawned it for drug money. Peter was hoping for an easy way to write off his family, guilt free. The Lord’s response must have been disheartening, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”

Many claim this is a figure of speech meaning eternal forgiveness, but I’m motivated to take it literally. Is this an unachievable goal? Well, my family experience has certainly made it a goal to shoot for.

So join me as I chronicle my attempts to forgive my family for everything they have done to me over the past decades with the objective of relieving me from this commandment once and for all.

Sincerely,

Dallin Moon

P.S. By the way, as you read these stories, understand that the first names of my family have been changed in fear that their identities might be stolen, and mostly because I feel sorry for the people who ends up with said identities.